It was with some trepidation I first handed over my car keys to Ms. Shilly Ash.
All told, she did learn to drive in Delhi. A Delhi driver in a Bolero can best be likened to a medieval battering ram. The kinds that William Wallace used to bring down the gates of York.
I needn't have feared, though. Contrary to all stereotypes involving women and Delhi, Ms. Shilly Ash is an excellent driver. All control and concentration, smooth handling and safe speeds.
Anyway, in an unrelated incident, a luggage auto had nearly ripped the front bumper off the Bolero, when the Bolero was parked no less. Insurance grudgingly paid for a new bumper, and we were car-less till the mechanic got the vehicle ready.
On D-Day, the missus and I headed to the mechanic's on a bike. She drove the car back, spanky new bumper and all. Being relatively new to Bangalore, she was still unfamiliar with the route, so I went ahead and she followed me.
A little too closely.
At a signal, I gently ease the bike to a standstill, all set to wait for the lights to turn green. Quite unexpectedly, I receive what is best described as a swift kick in the rear.
I turn around and am nose to hood with Wallace's battering ram, with the aforementioned spanky new front bumper positioned roughly where my bike's tail-lamp assembly ought to have been.
No words were exchanged. I just stared at her, speechless, while she just stared at me, aghast and contrite.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
How's that for romance?!
'Twas a nice, quiet evening. Ms. Shilly Ash was feeling particularly benevolent and, in a moment of weakness, decided to shower affection on Mr. Shilly Ash. So she sat him down, and just snuggled up.
The change of expression on Mr. Shilly Ash's face was encouraging.
She continued... whispered sweet nothings into his ear.
There was a twitch on the mister's face - ah!, she thought, the magic is working.
Mr. Shilly Ash leaned over to say something in her ear.
With great anticipation, she moved her hair away from her ear. Baby, said Mr. Shilly Ash.
Ya, honey? she replied - she was all for encouragement.
Then came the magic words....
"I need to go to the loo"!
The change of expression on Mr. Shilly Ash's face was encouraging.
She continued... whispered sweet nothings into his ear.
There was a twitch on the mister's face - ah!, she thought, the magic is working.
Mr. Shilly Ash leaned over to say something in her ear.
With great anticipation, she moved her hair away from her ear. Baby, said Mr. Shilly Ash.
Ya, honey? she replied - she was all for encouragement.
Then came the magic words....
"I need to go to the loo"!
Friday, February 26, 2010
That's some crunchy paneer!
Ms. ShillyAsh has a propensity to break things.
Now, in itself, that's not a bad thing. Lots of folk are clumsy, and it would hardly do to hold it against them. Sometimes even the most athletic ones cannot handle Bone China. I'm sure there are NSG commandos who've broken their share of glassware.
That said, it would be prudent to lock up the crystal cupboard in her vicinity. Anyway, it isn't her propensity to break things that's under the scope here, but her efforts at making amends after. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Ms. ShillyAsh also has a predilection for Paneer-based dishes.
Again, in itself, that is hardly note-worthy. Plenty of people love paneer. It is a very popular ingredient in many Indian curries.
Now, Ms. ShillyAsh had made a big bowlful of Shahi Paneer for dinner, and put the leftover in the fridge. The next day, she takes the heavy glass bowl out of the fridge, and sticks it in the microwave.
A few seconds later, a very distinct "CRACK!" is heard from the microwave.She rushes, but it's too late. The bowl has broken, and the top half of the bowl comes away as a ring. Quite a clean break.
Would it had not been so clean! Ms. ShillyAsh declares the paneer perfectly edible.
"Hey, it was a clean break, right ?"
"How can there be splinters of glass ?"
"I am definitely not going to throw away perfectly good Paneer just because..."
"I won't hear of it".
"Admit it, you just didn't like the Paneer in the first place."
It took the combined efforts of me, her father, her mother, an entire regiment of the NSG and three rogue elephants to pry the Paneer away from her. I emptied the remnants of the bowl, paneer and all in a large plastic bag and quickly threw it into the dumpster, while listening to her mutter about "waste of good food" and "starving Ethiopians".
She rues the lost Paneer to this day.
Oh, and I may have overstated the role of the elephants and the NSG.
Now, in itself, that's not a bad thing. Lots of folk are clumsy, and it would hardly do to hold it against them. Sometimes even the most athletic ones cannot handle Bone China. I'm sure there are NSG commandos who've broken their share of glassware.
That said, it would be prudent to lock up the crystal cupboard in her vicinity. Anyway, it isn't her propensity to break things that's under the scope here, but her efforts at making amends after. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Ms. ShillyAsh also has a predilection for Paneer-based dishes.
Again, in itself, that is hardly note-worthy. Plenty of people love paneer. It is a very popular ingredient in many Indian curries.
Now, Ms. ShillyAsh had made a big bowlful of Shahi Paneer for dinner, and put the leftover in the fridge. The next day, she takes the heavy glass bowl out of the fridge, and sticks it in the microwave.
A few seconds later, a very distinct "CRACK!" is heard from the microwave.She rushes, but it's too late. The bowl has broken, and the top half of the bowl comes away as a ring. Quite a clean break.
Would it had not been so clean! Ms. ShillyAsh declares the paneer perfectly edible.
"Hey, it was a clean break, right ?"
"How can there be splinters of glass ?"
"I am definitely not going to throw away perfectly good Paneer just because..."
"I won't hear of it".
"Admit it, you just didn't like the Paneer in the first place."
It took the combined efforts of me, her father, her mother, an entire regiment of the NSG and three rogue elephants to pry the Paneer away from her. I emptied the remnants of the bowl, paneer and all in a large plastic bag and quickly threw it into the dumpster, while listening to her mutter about "waste of good food" and "starving Ethiopians".
She rues the lost Paneer to this day.
Oh, and I may have overstated the role of the elephants and the NSG.
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